Thursday, October 23, 2008

Things I’ve Learned

Many times in life we’re presented with situations that can either be a learning situation or a complete and total disaster…sometimes both! Having lost some people near and dear to my heart and gained some incredible friendships through years, I’ve tried to glean a small amount of wisdom from each and every one. Below is a small list of things I’ve learned in my comparatively short life thus far.

Don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.
Always make time to play.
Enjoy each day as if it were your last.
If you can’t beat, figure out a way to make their task as difficult as possible.
Nothing is quite as vengeful as a gay man scorned.
Nothing is quite as wonderful as a gay man truly in love.
Women are a lot smarter than men.
The satisfaction of an emotional connection will outweigh the physical.
A good friend will say “OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” while a great friend will show up with shovels, trash bags, and a truck.
People often times aren’t what they appear or say they are.
Heartache comes just as easy as caring.
If you wear your heart on your sleeve, prepare to have it scarred repeatedly.
A beautiful and perfect heart can be a sign that person has never given it away while one that is scarred, bruised, and battered can mean that person is one of the most wonderful people you will ever meet. Wanting only someone to guard their heart as they will guard yours.
People may come and people may go but it’s the impact you have on them that truly matters.
Smile, it improves your face value!
One kind act can change someone’s entire life.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Some of these things may seem kind of cliché while some may seem simply humorous but they are truly things that I’ve learned if I live by, everything will be okay. I am one who wears my heart on my sleeve and I’m also one who trusts very few. It has been my experience that most people just want to screw you or screw you over. It’s a rare find to encounter someone who engenders trust and a kind spirit. I have a few of those people in my life and while I sometimes fail to let them know how much they mean to me, they are my world. I have been one who has had his heart broken many times and I have broken hearts before. I have a scarred and mismatched heart because of the pieces I have given away and sometimes those pieces have been replaced with a piece of the person’s heart whom I gave mine to. Sometimes there are just holes and gaps where I have given of myself and received nothing in return. It’s those times I take something from the situation. Something that will help me learn and grow as a person. All in all I come away from each situation a little bit wiser and sometimes briefly a little mistrustful.

I was speaking with my mother on the phone last night and trying to help and council her as to a situation going on with my eldest brother. I had initially called her for advice and an encouraging word but she needed it worse than I. In that conversation we covered many things. Some of which were things we needed to talk about for quite sometime and others were just the simple yammering that one tends to have in a phone chat. I asked my mother why is it that I can’t find someone who I will love and appreciate for all time that I can have the perfect suburban life with. Where we have the house with the white picket fence, the car and SUV in the driveway, and the dog and cat as our children. The perfect suburban life. Her response is what discouraged me and bit to the core. She stated that things won’t be able to be like that for me for various reasons pertaining to my sexuality. And while I love my mother with every fiber of my being I can’t help but think this is one of those times she is wrong for what she said. Love can transcend gender, race, creed, and language. Two people can love each other unconditionally and build a wonderful life together no matter if they are two men, two women, white, black, orange, purple, or even green (I’m reading Wicked so deal with the green reference). I will continue to hold on to this belief until such point I have no more love left to give. I will continue to hold on to the hope that one day I will be my prince’s dream man and he will be mine. One day I will be loved unconditionally and love unconditionally with my partner in life, my prince charming.

And for those of you who actually read this, and think you might be my prince charming…SPEAK UP!
~Preston

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi honey, Just keep believing that it will happen, and it will. Same dream I have had for many years. Some day our princes will ride up on the beautiful white stallion, and take us away. If you don't have hope, what else is there? On those days that I think to myself that at my age, I should just give up and accept my life for what it is, I usually wallow in the self pity for a while then wake up!! Have a great day, and never give up on your hopes and dreams. Don't forget that those close friends that you have are always there for you. No matter what. Love ya, Mama